Private Eyes
by Swyn Song
Summary: Based off an old movie I saw once. Join Inspector Roxas and Doctor Sora as they try to solve the mystery of who killed Lord DiZ morley.
1. Chapter 1

Private Eyes

by Star Wars nut

**Authoress Note:** Yes, I know I should probably be working on "The Hylian League" or "Organization XIII Part II" right now, but I saw this old movie and it seemed to fit some of the KH characters perfectly. And that's how this fic was born. So, here it is. For the record, this is a murder mystery. There will be dead bodies. So if you're so squeamish you can't even bear to _read_ about dead people (I don't know anyone _that_ squeamish, although I'm sure that there's someone that squeamish in the world) , hit that button on your screen that says "back." Now.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts 2 or any characters or locations from said game. I also do not own the hilarious old movie "The Private Eyes" which my mom got off netflix.

Chapter 1

_One Dark Stormy Night_

Lord DiZ Morley and his wife, Lady Yuffie, were preparing to go out to dinner. They climbed into their car and were about to leave when...

"I forgot my smokes," said Lord DiZ. His wife scowled at him and said, "It's bad enough that you smoke those things, but can you at least call them what they actually are? Honestly, you can't do anything right." DiZ climbed out of the car and, about to walk back to their house, said, "I'll just go inside and get my sm... cigars. I'll be right back." And with that, he walked toward the house.

As Lady Yuffie was waiting for her husband to return, a cloaked figure snuck into the car and pulled a handkerchief out of its pocket. It wrapped the handkerchief around her throat and kept it there until the Lady collapsed.

Lord DiZ came back to the car, having retrieved his cigars, and sat down in the driver's seat only to be knocked unconscious by the cloaked figure, who then weighed down the gas pedal and jumped out of the car, leaving it to crash into a nearby lake.

_Two Weeks Later..._

"Are you sure we're going the right way?" Inspector Roxas asked his partner, Doctor Sora. Sora checked the letter he was holding, "Yup! The letter says we're on the right road!"

"Well, does that letter say where we can find a gas station?" asked Roxas. Suddenly, a shot rang out!

"What was that?!" Roxas shouted. Sora held up a gun with a clock attached to it, "It's my new invention, a timegun. It goes off every hour, on the hour."

"Why would you need to shoot somebody every hour?" Roxas asked irritably, then added, as he turned a corner, "Oh good, here's a gas station."

"And look!" said Sora pointing, "That must be the mansion on top of that hill!" Sure enough, there was a mansion on top of the hill Sora was pointing at.

Roxas got out of the car, and a gas station attendant who had been sitting on the steps of the building by the pump put down the guitar-like instrument he was playing and hurried over to him.

"You're Inspector Roxas and Doctor Sora!" the man said in awe, holding up a newspaper, "I've read about you! You're the two idiots here to inspect the Morley case. My name is Demyx. Can I have your autograph?" Roxas, looking a little confused, said, "Sure. Can you fill my car up with gas?"

"No problem," said Demyx, then hollered, "Axel! Come over here and fill this car up with gas while I find some paper!" Immediately a man with odd tattoos on his face and gravity-defying red hair came around from behind the building and started filling the car up with gas.

While Demyx had gone inside to get some paper, Roxas asked Axel, "So, is that building on that hill the Morley mansion?" When Axel didn't respond, Roxas pointed in front of his face at the mansion and asked, louder, "Is that the Morley Mansion?" After a bit of thinking, Roxas concluded, "He must be blind and deaf. Probably needs to read my lips." Roxas picked up Axel's hand, touched it to his face, and asked again, "Is the building on the hill the Morley Mansion?" What Roxas didn't realize was that he was smearing gasoline from Axel's hand onto his face. Sora realized this and started to chuckle.

"What's so funny?" Roxas asked, dropping Axel's hand, just as Demyx came back out, waving around a pencil and two pieces of paper. After getting autographs from both Sora and Roxas, Demyx stood next to Axel and watched as the detectives drove away.

"What a bunch of morons," said Axel.

"You said it." agreed Demyx, before going back to his sitar.

End of Chapter 1

**Authoress Note:** Wow, short chapter. Well, it is really more of an intro than an actual chapter, but it's still kinda short. Oh well, chapter 2 will be up soon. Until then, please review!

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	2. Chapter 2

Private Eyes

by Star Wars nut

**Authoress Note:** Well, here's another chapter. Now we meet our first three suspects, and a new mystery rears its ugly head. One of my reviewers asked me why they had never heard of this movie, and the answer is simple: a lot of really good old movies are overlooked because they're old. Like, has anyone ever heard of The Apple Dumpling Gang? It was one of the best Wild West movies I've ever seen, but I bet that very few of my readers know what it is.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts 2 or any characters or locations from said game. I also do not own the hilarious old movie "The Private Eyes" which my mom got off netflix.

Chapter 2

Roxas and Sora parked their car in front of the Morley Manor, went to the door, and knocked. A man with blue hair, pointed ears, and an X-shaped scar on his face answered the door and said, "Who are you?"

"I'm Inspector Roxas and this is my assistant Dr. Sora," said Roxas, "We're here to investigate the Morley case." The man scowled. "The Morleys' death," he said, "was a tragic accident." Roxas walked through the door, Sora following him.

"Listen you," Roxas said, "We have a letter here inviting us to investigate the Morleys' murder." At the sound of the word "murder" the blue-haired man went bezerk and attacked Sora. Sora got out of his way, and another man walked up to the blue-haired man and punched him in the face.

"Saix, stop it," the man said. He turned to Roxas to reveal that his hair covered half his face, "My name is Zexion. What are you doing here?"

"I'm Inspector Roxas, and I'm here to investigate the Morley murder." At the word "murder" Saix attacked Sora again, although Roxas, who was talking to Zexion, didn't notice. Zexion scowled and said, "The Morleys were not murdered." Roxas held up the letter he was showing to Saix and said, "This letter is asking myself and Dr. Sora to come here to investigate the Morley murder." Saix went bezerk again, and this time Zexion walked calmly up to Saix and punched him in the gut. Then, acting like nothing had happened, Zexion looked at the letter and said, "This letter is signed Lord Morley." Roxas looked at it and said, "Well, so it is."

"Lord Morley died before this letter was written."

"So he did." After Roxas said this, Zexion looked oddly at him, than said over his shoulder, "Saix. Take them to see Master Xehanort."

Saix led Roxas and Sora, with Zexion following them, down several halls to what looked like a library. There, sitting at a nearby desk, was a twenty-something man with shoulder-length silver hair and his nose buried in a book called Kingdom Hearts and You.

"Master Xehanort," said Zexion, and the man looked up from his book, "This is Inspector Roxas and Doctor Sora. They say they are here to inspect the Morleys' deaths." The man- Xehanort- nodded and said, "Inspector Roxas and Doctor Sora. Have a seat." He then turned to Saix and Zexion and said, "Leave us." The two nodded and left closing the door behind them.

"Inspector Roxas and Doctor Sora," Xehanort repeated, "It is a pleasure. Naturally, this is a difficult time, but if there is anything I can do..."

"Actually, can you answer some questions?" Roxas asked, "We're trying to find out who murdered the Morleys." Roxas would've continued talking, but Xehanort raised a hand and pointed to the door. He walked over to the door and opened it, and sure enough, Zexion and Saix were standing there, Zexion somehow holding Saix in a headlock. Xehanort glared pointedly at them, and they left silently.

"Now, as you were saying, gentlemen?" Xehanort said politely, as if that hadn't just happened.

"Right," said Roxas, getting down to business, "Sora, you take notes. Now, Master Xehanort, how did you know Lord Morley and his wife?"

"Well," said Xehanort, "Lord Morley took me in at age ten. I don't really remember anything before then. The Morleys raised me like a son, and indeed, I did feel like they were my parents. Their deaths truly were a tragedy." Sora noticed that Xehanort's eyes appeared to be a little moist, but Roxas continued, "Where were you on the night of the Morleys' deaths?"

"Well," said Sora, "I was at the diner at Traverse Town, and I was wondering why those candles never go out..." Roxas glared at Sora, "Not you, dummy! Him!" Xehanort chuckled briefly and said, "I was doing research in my room. I remember it distinctly because I had found a way to capture a Shadow Heartless, and I had locked it in a cage with a rabbit. Did you know, incidentally, that Heartless eat rabbits alive? It's rather interesting to watch, actually. The rabbit writhing in pain and fear..." Sora shuddered, all notes forgotten.

"Its eyes widening in horror..." Roxas tried to hold down his lunch.

"You could almost hear it screaming in pain," Xehanort noticed the looks of disgust on Sora and Roxas's faces.

"Oh, I apologize," he said, "I forgot that most people aren't as interested in that kind of thing as I am."

"Well, thank you for your time," said Roxas uncomfortably, "Sora, did you get that down?" Sora nodded vigorously, "Yeah, I took rabbits... I mean notes." Roxas said, "Good," then said to Xehanort, "We'll need to stay here for a bit, long enough to find out what happened to the Morleys." Xehanort nodded, "Understood. I'll give you time now to look around, and later I'll introduce you to the staff. Is that alright?" Roxas nodded, and he and Sora headed for the door.

"One more thing, gentlemen." Roxas and Sora turned around, and Xehanort said, "A copy of the Morleys' will was found. They left everything to me. However, there was a stipulation that, if I were to die, my inheritance would be divided among the staff. I believe that one of them might attempt to do me in."

End of Chapter 2

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